Things better not said - our best

How do you get down from an elephant?
You don’t. You get down from a duck. This may be the oldest joke I know, but it is so perfect in its simplicity.

How much does a rainbow weigh?
Not much. They are actually pretty light.

Why is Batman an Anti-Vaxxer?
His parents took shots and died.

I was wondering, why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets…
then it hit me.

Did you hear about the weapons merchant who calls himself T-Rex?
He specializes in small arms.

Does anyone know a good dick joke?
I do. But if I type it out on here, it would be too shlong.

A man wanted to marry his girlfriend
Her father however, was having none of it Her father told the man "Over my dead body I will not give you my blessing to marry my daughter!" All of the sudden the man sneezed Instinctively the father said "Bless you"

Getting spiritual at the bar
A guy walks into a bar and notices a framed picture of a cat hanging behind the bar. "What happened to the picture of Buddha you used to have hanging back there?" he asks the bartender. The bartender replies, "That was Zen, this is Meow."

A blond is ordering a pizza
They ask her, how many slices would you like it to be split in to, 4 or 8? She says - 4, I could not eat 8.

What do you call a skateboarder with a boner?
Bony Cawk

What happens every time Waldo is found?
Cracked ribcage

What do you get if you eat 3968 pizzas in your lifetime?
You get F.A.T., F-eighty, 0xF80 sir programmers will get it

What are politics called in Poland?
Pole-itics