Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...She was only the toolmaker’s daughter.
But she sure gave the boys her awl.
What is it called when a bunch of illegal immigrants try to take over the government?
An alien invasion
A lawyer is driving home one evening
When he spots a man at the side of the road, eating the grass on the verge. He stops and asks the man what he is doing. The man says “I am so poor that my family and I cannot afford food and so we eat grass to survive”. The lawyer is horrified and says “that’s terrible! Look, I’m on my way home; grab your family, you can all eat at my house tonight” The man does as he says and once they are all belted up and on the move, the man, so humbled by such a grand gesture says “this is the kindest thing anyone has ever done. Are you sure your wife and family won’t mind us coming?” “Sure they won’t!” Replies the lawyer, “saves them a job. They haven’t mowed the lawn in weeks!”
A young girl asks her father, “Daddy what does the word ‘corruption’ mean?”
- “Bring me a beer and I’ll tell you.”
- “But mummy says you shouldn’t drink!”
- “Get a nice ice cream as well while you bring me beer.”
- “Oh, okay!”
Look at the way these Brits crib about 37 c heat in summer,
I wonder if this is the same country which colonized india and Africa..
Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight...
There would be mass confusion.
An American is driving in the 60s, sees a red light, and keeps going
He fatally injures many people, including himself. With his last breath, he says: "Better dead than red"