Things better not said - our best

What do you call a credit card riding a train?
American Express

Daddy, if we kill all bad people will only good people remain?
No, baby. If we kill all bad people only murderers will remain.

Why should you date Shakira?
You can always tell if she lies.

A mean walked into a bar…
It was average.

Why do prawns go the gym?
To build mussels.

My grandfather would be ashamed
My grandfather would be ashamed of Antifa. He didn’t punch Nazis. He bombed them

What sunglasses does Ned Flanders wear?
Oakley Doakleys

I used to disapprove of organ transplants…
But I’ve had a change of heart

How did Bill Cosby manage to get Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, from the land of Oz, to testify on his behalf?
by Cosby Cosby Cosby Cosby Cos.... by Cos of the wonderful things he does...

The pirate comes up onto the deck
The pirate comes up onto the deck and finds the captain. "The cannons be ready, Sire!" announced the pirate. The captain replies, "Are". This joke was brought to you by the grammar police.

Three drunk guys entered a taxi...
The driver knew they were drunk so he turned the engine on, then off. Then said "we have reached your destination." The first guy gave him money. The 2nd guy said "thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking that the 3rd guy knew what he had done. But then he asked, "What was that for?"The 3rd guy replied, " Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"

[NSFW] [NSFL] With the recent Supreme Court decision, what was one thing that Republicans did not expect gonna happen?
A rapid increase in stock price of companies making coat hangers.

A recent report suggests that the average redditor is easily fooled. This says otherwise.
Otherwise.