Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...Why did Elon Musk start a rock band with his SpaceX team?
Because he wanted to make "SpaceXy" music!
There used to be a mechanic shop in San Diego called “Car Men”
Now we don’t know where in the world it is
My Eldest Brother is scared of spaghetti.
Tonight I will be making him some "Creepypasta" !
After the most recent elections...
After the most recent elections in 2022, a record-setting 25 of the 50 states in the U.S. have female senators! This means the other 25 states in America ***will*** have their dinner ready on time.
Wider than the earth, and nearly as round. Truly a massive sight, what have I found?
Yo mama
My girlfriend txt me that when I got home she wanted me to give her something long and hard.
Where am I going to find a 12 page algebra exam at this time of night?
Three men approach a sphinx.
“You must answer my riddle to pass” said the The Sphinx. It demands an answer from all three of them: “I am maintained by the rich and the poor alike, but lost to those in between. What am I?”
The first man was a very rich billionaire in a multi-media entertainment company. He immediately answers, “A car!”.
“Incorrect” the sphinx says
The second man was born poor and, after much hard work, found his footing as a coffee shop barista. He thought for a short moment before answering: “A phone?”
“Also wrong” said the sphinx
The third man was born between two moderately successful parents and was overall middle classed, ultimately becoming a software engineer. He thought for much longer, then said loudly “Pants?”
The Sphinx rolled its eyes.
The three men drove home, but their car broke down and they were forced to share a hotel room together for one night. The middle class software engineer lost the straw pull and showered last. After the Barista finished, he walked in early assuming it was his turn, and walked in on him naked. Disgusted, he ran out.
When the billionaire finished, the engineer waited for him to leave, but he chose to step out of the shower naked. Without a care in the world. This again disgusted the other two and the engineer ran in the shower. A tang upset.
The next morning, the engineer drove the group back to the sphinx. As they arrive he rushed out of the car.
“I can tell have the answer, mortal. Speak.”
He whispered and the Sphinx allowed all three to pass.
The billionaire, in disbelief, said to the engineer: “I was sure everybody owned a car.” While the barista said “Most people at least have old model phones these days right?”
They both asked, again and again, what he said to the Sphinx. Then he yelled, furiously, his answer. So abruptly it could have been confused for an angry bark
“Come again?” The barista asked, politely.
“The answer,” mumbled the engineer, “Was foreskin.”
King Charles has authorised a new Royal Ceremony that the Guards regiments will perform anytime that Prince Harry is in the country.
It will be called "The Changing of the Locks"
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(with thanks to Matt, of the Daily Telegraph)