Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...Two bank robbers attend a funeral
One robber says to another, “how are you holding up?”
What did Ryu (Street Fighter) say when his step dad asked if he could borrow his lawnmower?
Sure you can
I never know if to like stairs or not…
Sometimes they are definitely up to something, but other times they just love to get down.
Chuck Norris once heard a butterfly flap its wings in China
He was standing in Texas.
I tried to tell a joke in the British Museum once...
but the sarcophagus gave me a death stare.
I used to date a professional fighter.
One day all my video games went missing. I played the blame game, there was a big argument, and I ended up getting dumped.
Anyway, have you seen my ex box?
Did you hear the joke about the guy with no short term memory?
To get to the other side!
A good looking male chauvinist went to a feminist rally
and came back with his shirts freshly ironed
Chuck Norris went to a feminist rally
He left with his shirt ironed and 2 sandwiches
My Lawyer gave me great advice
He always said I should never apologise if it’s not my fault because I could be admitting liability and landed with a big bill.
However his uncle died recently and I sent him a condolence card and my trial starts next week.
The worst thing about circumcision is paying full price..
..and still having the leave a tip