Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...Why are wheelchair-bound people unable to work as a comedian?
Their standup routine often falls flat on arrival.
A crow walks into a bar to meet his friends.
He was arrested for conspiracy to commit murder.
I asked my wife
I asked my wife to wank me off with her opposite hand so it feels like someone else is doing it
What is the most popular holiday for Asians living in Mexico?
Chinco de Mayo
What does someone who studies time and an expert with prostitutes have in common?
They are both (w)horologists.
No shame for sex workers or time keepers, just thought it was a fun word.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
What does a chinese dog have in common with a chinese chicken?
You can order both of them.
Employee on NSFW Sites...
Boss: What have you been working on the last few hours?
Employee: A graphic display of convergent asynchronous load distribution.
Boss: The tracker flagged you on bukkake sites.
Employee: I stand by my previous statement.
My wife says I get mean when I drink whiskey. Now I drink Canadian whiskey.
I am still mean but I am sorry, too.
Did you hear about the blonde who tried to commit suicide?
She closed her garage door
and sat in her Tesla
while she left it running