Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...To whoever stole my Microsoft Office login, I will find you.
You have my word.
Where does the penis get his workout outfit?
At Dick’s Sporting Goods.
Birds & Bees
"Daddy, where did I come from?" the seven-year-old asked.
It was a moment for which her parents had carefully prepared. They took her into the living room, got out the encyclopedia and several other books, and explained all they thought she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproductions. Then they both sat back and smiled contentedly.
"Does that answer your question?" her father asked.
"Not really," the little girl said. "Marcia said she came from Detroit. I want to know where I came from."
If you measure tomatoness with tomatomometer, and you measure carrotness with a carrotometer, what do you measure peaness with?
A ruler.
What do you call 55 midgets at a dwarf convention?
A little get together
Who invented that game?
Did you know that Henry VIII invented the game F*ck, Marry, Kill?
Back in his day, however, it was called Wed, Bed, Behead.
Did you hear about the famous musician who was buried in a guitar-shaped coffin?
He had to have 8 Les Paulbearers.
(Co-written by u/no_need_really)
Did you know that there was a huge debate if antimatter could be considered a kind of matter?
Of course it was rejected. It tried so hard, it got so far, but in the end it wasn’t really matter
What do ghosts say when they read the worst jokes on this subreddit?
# "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"