Things better not said - our best

What do you call a Russian with Covid?
Ivor Nastikov.

Following all the incidents with James at restaurants..
Areas are now being Cordened off.

Jesus is hanging on the cross.
There’s a big loud crowd gathered when he’s heard weakly calling for Matthew. Matthew rushes toward the cross but is brutally beaten back by the Roman soldiers guarding it. He runs around to the far side and tries again. Again he’s beaten back. Finally after several more attempts a beaten and bloody Matthew makes it to the cross. “Yes lord what do you have to tell me” Jesus replies “I can see your house from up here”

Eminem has started a vaccine company
You only get one shot

An apple a day keeps the doctor away . . .
. . . Especially if you throw it at him

Kanye West wins the Republican nomination for the presidency...what is the first thing he says?
"FAKE JEWS"

What kind of car racing comes from Mexico?
Formula Juan

What do you call a newborn of middle eastern descent?
An arababian

A little girl walks into the kitchen and sees half naked guy making breakfast..
- Are You the new babysitter? - No, I’m the new motherfucker.

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 men.
It exploded and killed 20 more. Then he threw the pin and killed 10 more men.

Why have we never heard from aliens?
Because the technology that makes alien contact possible is the same technology that creates social media!

What mythical creature fights for the rights of other mythical creatures?
Unioncorns.

The insomniacs are getting all excited.
Only 2 more sleeps till Christmas.