Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...Being a doctor is so difficult.
You examine hundreds of patients every week and nobody bats an eye. But you get a boner ONCE and everyone goes crazy. I mean can you blame me? You get so close to someone’s body, you get to see and touch everything, how can you NOT get a boner???
I should have never become a pediatrician.
Guy walks into a bar…
Sits down and orders a drink, when suddenly he notices 2 girls sitting in the corner talking to each other, one of them is gorgeous, and the other is fugly.
He walks up to the ladies, approaches the ugly one and says “Hey, can I ask you out?”
Amazed, the ugly girl replies “Of course, such a gentleman…”
“Great! Get the fuck out!”
A man with a costume walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender laughs at him and says “why are you wearing a silly costume?”
“No time to talk!” Shouted the man. “I don’t wanna be late to my AA meeting!”
The bartender is confused and says “wait, if you attend AA meetings, shouldn’t you not be drinking?”
And the man answers “Well, that’s what the costume is for!”
A man wakes up from a coma
Man:what happened?!
Friend:you had a heart attack while playing pika-boo
Man:where am I?
Friend:*sigh* I.C.U.
I got a letter the other day without a return address on it. I assumed it was from the Philippines...
It was in a Manila envelope.
Today is the day…
I post a lame joke just to get some upvotes!
(PS. Isn’t that what Cake day for?!)
How many Trump supporters does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They prefer to stay in the dark.
A pregant woman walks into a bar.
Her husband says "ouch", because everything has to be be about him.
A police man knocked on my door the other morning and said ‘it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck’
I said ‘I know’