Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...“Snoring is just someone bragging about being asleep.”
I can’t take credit for this joke, but I am proud to say I’m married to one of the all time greatest braggers.
What is the difference between marigolds and mums?
I never Came in your Marigolds bush.
(DnD, Spoken) What do you get if a couple of monks in a row, all hold their attack action?
A delayed punchline
Works better if you say it and then just wait a minute before saying the answer, just wanted to share it here, feel free to give thougths on improvements.
My uncle who was a great chef just passed away, and I could swear I just saw his ghost
It was a soupernaturnal experience
I wish people would enunciate more
I really need to know if you want little Caesar’s or little seizures
I’m creating a new cushioned shoe for the street walking prostitutes in my city
I’m calling them Hoekas
I would tell you a joke about indian food,
But most people tell me they would have naan of it.
What is Colgate Sensitive supposed to do if Colgate kills 99.9% of germs?
It kills 99.9% of them without hurting their feelings.
What is the difference between a thug and a police officer?
A government pension
Why does Peter Parker only have eleven months on his calendar?
Because he lost May.
That’s it? It took you 2 minutes to cum?
It’s doggystyle so 14 minutes to be precise.
Why was Twitter freaking out about Nelly’s face today?
Nevermind, I realize it was only just a Dream.