Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...A Statistic Regarding Americans
Math illiteracy effects 8 out of every 5 people.
Why is C the only good letter in the English alphabet?
Because the others are Not-Cs
Why does Elon Musk have so much money and 8 kids?
Because his dating life is the same as his investing Pump and Dump.
“I like animals” his date proclaimed.
“I work with animals” he replied.
“Oh! Are you a vet?” she asked.
“Nope. A butcher.”
How many Mexicans?
How many Mexicans does it take to...
Holy sh** they are already done.
Today I went for a walk with a beautiful girl.
Then she noticed me so we went for a run.
Most women I know look at sex like driving a car.
“Is it safe? Is it reliable? Could it kill me?”
But most men I know look at sex like *parking* a car.
“There’s a spot…there’s another spot. Oh, I have to pay? Never mind. Handicapped? I hope no one sees *this*!”
What do you hear when someone is doing bad stand-up comedy at a club full of dogs?
The sound of one hound clapping.
The police got a call from a woman saying someone had been following her for the past few hours.
They were surprised to find her at the front of a line for a roller coaster.
Why do Americans always win at the shootings in Olympics?
Because they’re trained at the best schools.