Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...Why is my husband so into Saint Patrick’s Day?
He knows he is going to get lucky!
(Made this up for you all, Happy Saint Patrick’s Day.)
What happens when Erin has one too many pints at the pub?
Erin go braless
“It’s a miracle! You were infected by a brain eating parasite. How are you cured?”
I frowned and said, “I kept asking it if mine was not like other brains and then it told me we needed some time apart.”
Why did the smartphone break up with his girlfriend?
Because he found someone charger!
What is the difference between a gay dude and a fridge?
A fridge doesn’t fart when you take out a sausage.
Archimedes once said, "Give me a lever long enough and a fulcrum on which to place it, and I shall move
your mom."
Why are discount cards so bad at scraping ice off a car?
Because you only get 10% off
You can call me Skywalker
Obecause I wan your Anonly kin , you know bme.
A father and son were taking a walk in the countryside
The father points into the next field and says “hey look, there’s a big flock of cows over there” the son replies in a rather quizzical and confused tone “heard of cows dad…” to which the dad replies
Of course I’ve heard of cows. There a whole flock of them over there.
Bird: "Why do they use us to teach human kids about having sex?"
Bee: "Because you can fly in my honey!"
Did you hear about this Indian who wanted to make and sell sandwiches?
He opened a New Delhi