Things better not said - our best

Some guy wanted me to privately invest in Egyptian architecture
I turned it down... I have a feeling it involves a pyramid scheme.

I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyebrows way too high
You should have seen the surprised look on her face

Why is spit a good vehicle for bacteria and viruses?
Because it’s a transmission fluid.

Q. What do you call a woman who can suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
A. Baby, darling, honey…

Researchers have found that men complain less in the month of February.
Because it only has 28 days.

Why do little girls put fish in their pockets?
...so they can smell like big girls.

What do you call a ghost in a painting?
A portra-geist

It all makes sense now
Jack: Rose! There’s enough room, you can save me! Rose: There’s one thing you should know about me Jack. I’m actually 26 years old! Jack: … Rose: Jack? Jack: *drifts away into the dark depths of the ocean*

Chicken and egg
A chicken and an egg were lying in bed. The chicken was smoking a cigarette, à satisfied smile on its beak. The egg looked rather put out and annoyed. Finally, the egg got up to go to the bathroom. Just before entering, she turned to the chicken and said: « Well, I guess we settled THAT question! »

I asked my mom why I had to finish my laundry before I went out clubbing.
“Clothes before hoes”

What’s the difference between Fat Ass and Flat Ass?
Letter L

Your moms so old
That when she was born the dead sea was just sick.

A Book Series Never Written…
“The Assignment Chronicles” * Book 1 written by Ken U. Duitt * Book 2 written by Noah Kent * Book 3 written by Nora Cannai * Book 4 written by May Neether * Book 5 written by Al Trayet * Book 6 written by Cole Laktiv-Raleif