Things better not said - our best

Why did the hurricane kill itself?
Because it had tropical depression.

Where do Kevin McCarthy and Kari Lake live?
Where do Kevin McCarthy and Kari Lake live? ​ ​ Never Never Land

What do you call
What do you call a Buddhist monk meditating mindfully? Omomatopoeia

What’s green and stinks of pork?
Kermit the frogs fingers.

In the beginning there was nothing. God said "Let there be light".
# There was still nothing but now you could see it.

Why did man invent science?
He was tired of being wrong

My Son asked me about my book collection.
My son walked over to my bookcases and said to me “Yknow dad you must have over 10,000 books!” 10,639 books I replied “Wow! Surely you haven’t read them all?” he responded That’s not true! I have read every last word in each of these books. “Jeez, how on earth do you find the time Dad?” he asked Simple! Every time I get a new book I read the last word and put it on the shelf!

How did the seaman get to work?
I put on the wrong socks.

I have to always be the best at something, leading from the front from the very start…
Except with sex. I don’t mind coming from behind

Why did the T. rex cross the road?
To avoid evolving into chicken.

why are 8,9 and 10 always eating snacks and soft drinks?
Because they are in the 7/11

Women with septum piercings
Listen, I grew up with tmnt So whenever I see y’all you remind me of bebop Now I ain’t gonna give ya shit for liking the piecing But I am gonna ask “Yo , shredder know his mutants are running around broad daylight?”

Did you know in the average friend group, one in ten people are gay?
I hope it’s Noah, he’s so cute.