Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...A holocaust survivor, after living out the rest of his life a happy man, dies at the age of 94.
Upon reaching heavens gates, he meets God and immediately tells him the most foul, abhorrent and truly awful Holocaust joke.
God looks at the Holocaust survivor and tells him that those kinds of things are not funny and shouldn’t be joked about.
The holocaust survivor replies with “Ah, I guess you just had to be there”
(creds to Ricky Gervais on this one, I just added a bit more fluff to it)
What do you call someone who invites themselves over, unannounced, and wants to work out with you?
A Jehovah Fitness.
I really like ghost’s stories
They’re such transparent narrators being ghosts & all.
I saw a polar bear acting really weird once. He was running in circles, breathing heavier than normal.
I think he was having a nanuk episode.
best yo mama jokes, go
heres mine: yo mama so fat when I tried to drive around her i ran out of gas
Italian men
Why don’t Italian men eat flies?
They can’t get their little legs open wide enough..
My job at the potato chip factory
I spent a few years working at a potato chip factory. One day they got a new chip slicer, it was placed in the station right next to me. I often caught myself looking at it and thinking, what it would feel like to put my dick in it… I eventually sought counciling and after a few sessions with no positive progress, my deflated therapist said- just do it!!
And so, the next day I went to work and I placed my dick in the potato slicer!
It was great- but unfortunately- she got sacked and so did I.
Why do people in North Korea hate James Brown?
They have been told all their lives everything about Seoul is awful.
What do French people call the bit of loose skin on the elbow?
The ouinis
[Walks into a bar] A horse walks into a bar
Lousiest steeple chaser I had ever blown $100 on!!
What did the wife say to the husband when they were arguing during dinner?
"I have a lot on my plate right now"