Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...My colleague won’t be able to attend next week’s Innuendo Seminar,
so I have to fill her slot instead.
Do you know how annoying it is to drill small holes?
Only a little bit.
I got a threatening note in the post that said "Pay the money, or there will be consequences."
Underneath I wrote "Like you not receiving the money?" and pushed it back through the letterbox.
Why was a man standing in front of an ATM machine with only 1 leg?
He was checking his balance.
Grandpa asks Lil Kyle
At the family get-together grandpa askd little Kyle what he wants to achieve once he is grown up
"I want a house with no form of running water!"
Well, thats a bit weird grandpa thinks, but lets ask him why.
"i want to become filthy rich"
What does a man with a 2 foot penis eat for breakfast?
Well, this morning I had toast
Depressed, In a deep funk.. anyone have some good Dad jokes?
Looking for some good dad jokes or jokes in general to lift my spirits.
Thank you
A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.
Dad: Son, where were you at school hours?
Son: At school. The robot slaps the son.
Son: Okay I was watching KungFu Panda! The robot slaps his son again.
Son: Okay I was watching violent movies!
Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies! The robot slaps the dad.
Mom: Haha, after all, he is your son. The robot slaps the mom
I had a good-sized rock once, and something about it just looked kind of bold.
My brother had a much bigger one that was boulder.