Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...In every marriage, there’s one person who is always right…
…and the other person is the husband.
How do you tell a male ant from a female ant?
You drop it in water. If it sinks - girl ant. If it floats - boy ant.
^Not ^an ^"original joke"
I was fired for having sex with a client...
damn shame since my boss told me I was his best pathologist
What do you get when you cross a programmer, a physicist, and a cat?
A very good grasp on strings.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo...
.... So, I had to put my foot down.
The guy has a birthday
His girlfriend decides to give him her virginity as a birthday present.
She enters the room completely naked, with a cute ribbon bow right on her pussy and says "Here is your birthday gift!"
"All right", he says with a sigh and folds his sleeve to the elbow. "How deep is it?"
Do people with wind chimes know?
…That not owning wind chimes is also an option.
I broke up with my ex cuz I found out that she was a player
Yep, she was good at volleyball