Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...Why was the government statistician always picked last for football games?
Because he was only there to make up the numbers
My cat is so picky, thus I keep telling him...
...there are millions of starving cats in Africa who would gladly eat his food.
Why are all these youtubers asking me to like Cher?
Is it her birthday or something?
They say that older men have greater sexual stamina
But who wants to fuck an old man for a long time???
We all know the unfortunate end to 9, being that 7 8 9, but have your heard how 10 died?
He got caught in the middle of 9/11
So there were two cows eating grass out in the pasture.
One cow looks at the other and says, “Hey, have you heard that Mad Cow Disease has been going around lately?”
The other cow looks at him and days, “yeah, thank goodness I’m a penguin”
Software architects should never design high security fences.
They’re likely to make them highly scalable.
Q: What do you get when you cross human and goat DNA?
A: Banned from the petting zoo.
Please keep the bathroom door closed
The dogs have a drinking problem.
(Actual sign on a bathroom door)
Why are crimes so hard to solve in Alabama ?
Because their are no dental records and all the DNA matches