Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...Little johny is in class one day and he suddenly needs to pee real bad...
he puts his arm in the air, waving it a little frantically...
the teacher notices and says "yes, johny... what do you want?"
johny says "teacher, i gotta go piss!"
the teacher scowls, but she know little johny well enough by now... so she says "john... you know i dont like that language in my class. the proper word is urinate, now... use it in a sentence and you are free to go to the washroom".
little johny things for a second, then says "Urinate."
"but if you had bigger tits, youd be a ten."
What do you call a man with no arms or legs who’s in a pile of leaves?
Russel.
Be careful about emails from weird addresses with long links or strange files attached
They could be from your parents
“I’ve had it with your silly remarks about my weight. I’m leaving you!” “But honey, what about our child?” “What child?!”
“Oh, so you’re not pregnant?”
A woman walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"Anheuser-Busch?" asks the bartender.
"Mind your own goddamn business!" snarls the woman.
What drug do smoking hot middle age women take for unwanted pregnancies?
Milfepristone
Does anyone know any good jokes about biologists?
I’m a biologist and I’d like to hear any good jokes about biologists
A logician has just given birth.
The logicians friend asks her “is it a boy or a girl?”
The logician replies “yes”
I’m ok with trans women competing in women’s sports
As long as I’m allowed to bet