Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...When I talk to the managers, I get the feeing they are important
When I talk to leaders, I get the feeling I am important
Isn’t tomorrow you’re big test on male genitalia?
Maybe you should “bone up.”
An arrest warrant is out for a 5’4” man who scammed a bunch of people into thinking he could contact their dead relatives
Police are asking for any information about the small medium at large
My wife and I make love doggy style...
I sit up and beg, she lies down and plays dead.
The joke I came up with while I was half asleep.
A spoon and a microwave are talking to each other.
The spoon says: “So what’s your name?”
Microwave: “Mike.”
Spoon: “Is that short for Michael?”
Microwave: “It’s short for microwave.”
Trying to find a story anti-joke I heard once from a coworker
The story went something like this but I can’t remember the exact punchline, please help me out if you know where it’s from or could write the joke well!
There’s an extremely skilled carpenter father who has a son but loses his wife in childbirth. Then the son grows up and gets cancer young so the father has to sell all his valuable sculpted pieces of wood to pay for the surgery including a special wooden globe he made for his son because his son is his whole world. Then his son tragically dies and the father wants to go find the globe he made as a memorial to his son, he looks all over in different stores but is distraught until going into the final store in town where the shop keeper leads him to a back room and they talk for a minute and then the shop keeper makes a stupid pun that turns the whole story joke on it’s head
It made me laugh so hard but now I can’t remember, please help!
Soviet joke: A worker standing in a liquor line says: “I have had enough, save my place, I am going to shoot Gorbachev.”
Two hours later he returns to claim his place in line.
His friends ask, “Did you get him?”
“No, the line there was even longer than the line here.”
Why did Dracula always fail job interviews?
He could never answer, "Where do you see yourself in five years?"
Women who go to male prostitutes always get BOGO deals.
Buy one and get one off.