Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...A man walks into a bar in Londen.
He hears two large women speaking with an accent sitting at the bar.
So he asks them "Are you ladies from Scotland?"
To which they reply in unison "Wales, you idiot. Wales!"
So he then asks "Okay. Are you whales from Scotland?"
Did you hear about the fight in the candy store?
Turns out some sucker got licked.
Why do chinese people love playing Among Us ?
Because thats the only place they can vote
Have you ever noticed that old ladies all smell the same?
Especially when you dig them up after 3 weeks.
Sharing
I stopped at a fast food joint for a meal while on a trip. I noticed a couple old enough to be my parents. The man cut the burger in half carefully, and then handed half to his wife. Then he counted out the fries, dividing them equally. He then put two straws into the soda, and took a sip.
The woman started eating slowly, as the man watched and chatted. I walked up and offered to buy another portion so they could have enough. The man thanked me, and said, No, we always share everything.
As I finished up my meal, I offered once again to buy them another burger and fries. He repeated what he said before. No thank you, we share everything.
So I asked him what he was waiting for.
He looked up in surprise and said,
Why, the teeth, of course.
My neighbour across the street said he was born in Micronesia. My next door neighbour said he was born in Indonesia. I told them I was born in Amnesia.
My father forgot to wear a condom.
You know what it is with NNN...
Every night it gets just a little harder than the night before.
Darling, I just called to tell you how awesome you are.
You really are the love of my life…
– Sir – I’m sorry, this is a brewery!
– Oh I know…