Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...The early bird gets the worm...
...but the second mouse gets the cheese!
Why did Satan cross the road.
Because he saw a group of Slayer fans approaching him.
A man wanted to marry 3 women, so he developed a test to see which was the most fit.
he decided to give them each 10,000 dollars to see what they did.
the first women got plastic surgery and told him, “Look, I made myself extremely beautiful just for you!”
the second bought him many gifts and said, “Look! I have given you all the gifts I can!”
the third invested the money, made 30K, gave the man back the original 10K, and then invested the rest. she said, “Look! I invested out money so that when we retire we can live peacefully in an abundance of wealth!”
The man thought long and hard, and eventually made his decision.
he married the one with the biggest tits.
A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven
In heaven he meets God, and after talking for a bit he says, “Hey, want to hear a joke?” God nods, so the the guy tells him a holocaust joke. God looks at him blankly and says, “That’s not funny.” So the guy apologises and says, “I guess you had to be there”
What do you mean stacking Sats?
I thought you said "sacking stats" I fired the whole statistics department!
Anatomy jokes are really cornea
Haha funny (putting text here so this post isn’t removed)
The russian general secretary, Leonid Brezhnev, calls in the head of the FSB, Sergey Beseda.
Leonid says "How many Ukrainian born citizens do we have in the russian federation?"
Sergey says "About 5 million."
Leonid says "How many do you think would leave if allowed to?"
Sergey says "About 50 million."