Things better not said - our best

Have you heard about the activist group that fights for ceramic containers in fast food restaurants?
They call themselves the "Bowl movement".

Where is the best place to get cremated?
Phoenix!

My wife said you’re a pisces, you live outside of the box
I told her no, I live outside of the aquarium. She didn’t laugh :(

Local Drug Mart got robbed of all razor blades and skin lotion products with no clues left behind
Cops are on the lookout for a smooth criminal

What would Amy Winehouse be doing if she were alive today?
Scratching at the lid of her coffin. ​ Too soon?

What is a Karen called in Europe?
An American.

What is the opposite of a woman wearing a hijab?
A naked man wearing a blindfold.

The nanny goat told her mate that she was pregnant.
She was kidding.

Blonde lady driving down a dirt road…
When she sees another blonde woman in a row boat out in the middle of a cotton field. She slams on her brakes, fuming, and yells out to the lady in the boat “HEY!! IT’S DUMB BLONE BIMBOS LIKE YOU THAT GIVE BLONDES LIKE ME A BAD REPUTATION!! AND IF I COULD SWIM, I’D COME KICK YOUR ASS!!”

Rest in peace boiling water
You will soon be missed

A woman asks her husband
“Please go to the store and buy a gallon of milk for me and the baby. Not vodka. Not beer like last time!” Husband goes to the store. “What did she want from me?! Vodka? Beer? F-it, I’ll buy both.”

R Kelly really be changing the rap game
He takes the art out of rap artist

What do you call a dog with no hind legs?
A doo.