Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...If "Gator Aid" had been created in Talahassee instead of Gainesville
Would we all be drinking Seminole Fluid?
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you eat peanuts with that?
What do you call a Throuple when A Woman is in charge
A Tri-Sarah-tops
A cabbie picks up a Nun.
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you”
She answers, ” My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything.
I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”
She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that – you have to be single and you must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”
“OK,” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child,” said the nun, why are you crying?”
“Forgive me but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Steve and I’m going to a Halloween party!”
I remember how my mother used to tuck me in when I was little.
She was really disappointed not to have another girl.
What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians?
Bass guitarist.
Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number.
You answer the wrong phone.
I told my parents about a crazy job I wanted to take for minimum wage.
They said:
That makes absolutely no cents.
Do ya know why toys have a serial number?
>!They have been marked as in-toyer-able!!<
What do you get when you cross a rhetorical question...
... with a joke?