Things better not said - our best

Too soon?
How did the FBI know about the rest of the classified info at Mar-A-Lago? They went to Jared.

What does Sean Connery say to his enemies?
“Welcome, shuit yourshelf”

What’s worse than finding a maggot in your apple?
Finding your wife in a car park getting gangbanged by five dutch lorry drivers

What do you call a small yellow pervert?
Peek-At-You

After five long years, I’ve come up with the best clock joke ever…
…it’s about time!

A demolitions expert tried standup on stage.
He bombed.

How many police does it take to change the lightbulb?
They arrest bulb for being broke and beat room for being black. Nothing changes.

What do you call a flatulent boxer?
Gaseous Clay!

Optimus Prime has a French cousin who saw seventeen decepticons
he said “Dix-septicons, in the distance!”

How does an Australian toilet greet you?
Bidet, mate!!

[Ancient Greek joke] Aristotle was informed by someone that some were cursing him.
The philosopher replied: “I do not care at all. When I am absent, I even accept being whipped".

Where do you take someone with a “peek-a-boo” injury?
To the ICU

What’s the difference between…
Drinking an IPA and licking a clit? When you lick a clit it only tastes like piss at first.