Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...What do Zoologists and Chess players both get excited over?
Mating patterns
When King Charles met Chuck Norris he gave away his throne, because ...
Chuck had resurrected Queen Elizabeth in her best Freudian slip to seduce him.
Some are saying there’s a conspiracy of collusion regarding rising egg prices
I think it’s a chicken coup
Why did the siamese twins go to London?
So that the other one can drive as well.
A simp approaches a busy intersection in his car. His instincts take over and he ends up killing multiple people and injuring dozens.
Left on red
I told my boss
That I wasn’t coming into the office today because I’ve got a bad flare up of occupational rectal cataracts.
She asked “What the hell is that? Does it hurt?”
I said “Not really, I just can’t see my ass coming in tomorrow!”
I was having sex with Vladimir Lenin and he asked me to grab his balls
Well what he really said was ‘seize the means of reproduction’
How many marketers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just reposition the room!
Did you hear about a guy who lost his shipment of wool when he saw a UFO?
No one believed his multiple yarns.
Q. Why did the Rednecks only have 2 children?
A. Because they heard 1 in 3 babies are Chinese.