Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...A Guy Goes Grocery Shopping
A guy goes grocery shopping & fills his cart with 1 Cucumber, 3 Carrots & a jar of Nutella.
He heads to the checkout. The cashier looks at his items and says, “Oh. You must be single, huh?”
“Yes actually I am. How’d you know?” replied the guy.
“Because you’re fucking ugly.”
My coworkers at my place of work have given me a nickname “Mr. Compromise”.
It wasn’t my first choice, but I guess I’m ok with it.
A joke I do remember:
Man walks in a bar with a duck on his head and orders a beer. Bartender says that’s 5 bucks. Dude said, put it on the bill
One good tern deserves another
Arctic terns, birds long famous for their thousands of miles migratory habits, have been profoundly affected by climate change. Researchers have determined that as landmarks have disappeared due to loss of ice, some terns get stressed to the point of prematurely ending their flights.
Exposure to cannabinoids reduces stress levels in the stopped birds, allowing them to continue their journey. A team formed to find the colonies of stragglers and drop literal marijuana smoke bombs on the birds. The head of the expedition acknowledged that it was a huge undertaking, but vowed to leave no tern unstoned.
What did the Swedish Chef tell me in the laundromat?
Hurdy-gurdy, let’s get dirty!
what is the difference between java and kotlin Android developers?
Java developers have no fun
50% of marriages end in divorce
100% of marriages end with you getting fucked in some capacity.
The president of my home owners association and my blind neighbor don’t see eye to eye often…
But when it came to me putting up an electric fence around my property, in their own ways, they’re both dead against it.