The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

What do you call a ceramic artist in need of a shave?

Hairy Potter.

What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink?

What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink? WAAAATAAAA!!!! (Gotta say it is loud kung foo fighting noise). It’s a winner every time.

What’s the similarity between a pulse and an orgasm?

I don’t care if a woman has either

Where do you keep the rebellious chicken?

In the coup

The lie detector

Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie. The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, “So, you were at school today, right?” Son: “Yeah.” Detector: “Beep.“ Son: “OK, OK, I was at the movies.” Detector: “Beep.” Son: “Alright, I went for a beer with my friends.” Father: “What?! At your age, I wouldn’t touch alcohol!“ Detector: “Beep.” Mother laughs: “Ha! He really is your son!” Detector: “Beep.”

Anyone wanna hang out, grab a drink or shoot some pool?

Asking for a friend

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven was a six offender

What did Fred Flintstone say when he was horny?

Yabba Dabba Do Me!

Tyrone‘s first day at school

It’s Tyrone’s first day in the first grade. The teacher tells the students to say their ABCs. Tyrone comes back from school crying. Tyrone‘s mother asks, “What’s the problem?” Tyrone says, “All The little white kids in my class could say their ABCs but I can’t.” Tyrone‘s mother says, “It’s because you black and they white.” The next day the teacher tells the kids to count from 1 through 10. Tyrone comes back from school crying again. Tyrone‘s mother asks, “What’s the problem now?” Tyrone says, “All The little white kids can count but I can’t.” Tyrone‘s mother says, “It’s because you black and they white.” The next day Tyrone and the other kids are in the bathroom. Tyrone comes back from school smiling. Tyrone‘s mother asks, “Why are you so happy?” Tyrone says, “Today me and the little white kids were using the bathroom and my thing is the biggest one out of all. Is it because I’m black and they white?” Tyrone‘s mother says, “No, it’s because you 17 and they 6.”

Two Robbers hold up a liquor store

One of them picks up a bottle and asked, "Is this Whiskey?!". The other one replies "Well not as whiskey as robbing a bank".

Why did the hipster crypto miner burn out his GPU?

He was mining before it was cool.

Where can you find Ello and Menno?

Between K and P.

My new party trick.

I swallow two pieces of string and a couple of hours later they come out of my ass tied together. I shit you knot.