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The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

New at better-not-say-it.com: Our hot joke section. Have fun laughing with our sensationally funny jokes:


When is a butthole not a butthole?

When its ajar.

Swedish government is not allowing the aircraft carrier Admiral Kuznetsov in their territorial waters

The main issues seem to be related to the working conditions of the rowers.

A man is driving down the highway at 60 mph when a three legged chicken passes right by him.

In shock, he decides to follow the chicken down this dirt road. He sees the chicken run onto this farm and into barn. The man gets out of his car and goes to the front door to speak with the farmer. “Sir, I’m sorry to bother you, but I was driving down the highway doing atleast 60 mph when I was passed by a three legged chicken. I followed him here and saw run into your barn back there. Do you know anything about this?” The farmer says “Yes I do. You see, I love chicken legs, my wife loves chicken legs, and my son loves chicken legs. So i came up with this idea to create a three legged chicken in order to feed my family with just one chicken.” “Wow. That’s incredible. I’ve never seen that before. How is it? Does it taste like a normal chicken?” Asks the man. “I don’t know. We haven’t been able to catch the mother fucker yet”

Save $400 on the new iPhone!

By waiting a couple of years

What did the spanish judge say after sentencing Pablo Escobar to jail?

"Culpablo"

Anyone know of a cure for sex addiction?

I’ve tried fucking everything

Bullshit I can deal with

But horseshit? I say neigh

Woodstock was full of hippies, high-potency drugs and all-day music

At night it was fucking in tents.

What does a Lumberjack gather at 6 AM ?

Morning Wood

What did the man win at the sketchy humbleness competition?

Bragging rights.

i went on a plane to florida today

someone just started masturbating mid flight and faced no consequences! how is this not illegal? i thought the patriot act was made to prevent high jacking

Whats green and black and hides in the woods?

A frog with a machine gun.

Man wakes up

Man wakes up after a heavy night with a girl that he does not know next to him, He sits up in bed before going to the bathroom, when he looks in the mirror he sees a piece of string hanging out of the corner of his mouth. He says to himself, : Dear God please let it be a tea bag:

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