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Made a joke during my uncles funeral and his wife came up to me and said "That was not funny this is a VERY sensitive time!"
So I walked to the nearest clock and apologized. 4:32 PM is very sensitive man, never joke at that time
Redneck
Having grown up in a small Alabama town, my friend James couldn’t wait to tell us all about life in California, where he was stationed. "The malls are massive, and the restaurants are great," he said. Then he grinned. "I even went to a topless bar." "Really?" said his mother, surprised. "What do they do if it starts to rain?"
Johnny Depp brought in Shakira as his witness.
Everyone was perplexed when she started dancing provocatively as she was taking the stand. She single-handedly won the case for Depp. It was very clear, Shakira’s hips don’t lie.
Neurodiversity is all very well..
..but some folk can only afford secondhandrodiversity.
I still can’t believe they are still together after all that shit! Who you might ask?
My ass cheeks
Ukraine took first place on the Eurovision, but what place did Russia take?
Donetsk, Luhansk, Herson, Mariupol, ...
I just finished listening to a country album backwards.
I got my dog, my truck, and my wife back.
The results from yo mama’s health examine came back
Doctor said she’s so fat that they are going to have to classify her as a non-binary.