The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.
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So the other day I’m walking home from work.
I come across a homeless man with his cock stuck in a sewer drain. A firefighter shows up and starts mutilating him with an axe then eats seven dead fetuses. I thought, “wow”
If a tree falls in a forest and only a mime is around, does it make a sound?
No, because the mime is surrounded by double-thickness glazed glass panels.
What do you get when you mix Napolean Dynamite and Napolean Bonaparte?
Napolean Blownapart
How did the Swedes lose a nuclear war to the Russians?
Their nukes took to long to assemble.
A cowboy walked into a bar in Texas
He was wearing a shirt & pants made entirely of brown wrapping paper. Very quickly, the sheriff arrested him for rustling.
What you call a black people on the moon??!
A fucking Astronaut. What is worng with you guys??
yo mama is so ugly...
Her birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
A sailor arrives to a port city
He runs off to the closest brothel and begs the madam “Madam, I just spent the last two years at sea with men only around me, I must be with a woman, but I only have 5 dollars, is there someone I can get for 5$?” The Madam answers - “Well, 5$ is way too cheap for anything… but, there is this prostitute that died tonight, her body is still in the attic, you can do whatever you want to her for 5$” The sailor goes to the attic, and after about 20 minutes comes down. He lights up a cigarette and hands the 5$ to the Madam. She proceeds to ask - “How was it?” - “Well, it was great, but every time I pushed my dick inside, it looked like she had a runny nose” - “Oh, it’s no runny nose, she’s probably just filled up”