The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

It is cloudy and snowing outside, and I just realized I ate the last piece of cheese in the fridge.

Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone.

I used to be addicted to soap

But I’m clean now

Our local fish market ranks their catches on how rare they are

I noticed today that they had rare salmon. It definitely isn’t common plaice!

What do you call a bunch of employees caught sleeping on the job?

A Dream Team.

It’s important to clean your sex toys…

That’s why priests perform baptisms.

what do you get when you cross a Jewish person ?

Christianity

Why do Jewish people wear a kippa?

It’s half an hat it’s cheaper

Inspired by the Super Bowl commercial - What would an R-rated roast of Mr. Peanut look like?

The last time he almost got some action, the lady asked him if he had any protection. So he pulled out an Epi-Pen!

What did the aging 007 say to his pharmacist?

Bond. Gold Bond.

I like my women like I like my snow

Lined up and from Colombia

Back in my day

I could walk into a store with only $30 and walk out with 4 porterhouse steaks, a case of beer, a carton of cigarettes, and a gallon of milk. Not anymore, too many fucking cameras.

What did the fish say when he swam into the concrete wall?

Dam!

Why is Chris Rock like a used anvil?

They both got hammered by a blacksmith.