The funniest jokes the internet has to offer.

An old man shuffled into a dairy bar

He got slowly and painfully up onto a stool. He ordered a banana split. The waitress asked, “Crushed nuts?” “No, arthritis.”

Every standup comedian should use a Bluetooth microphone

Yes, I know it from my own experience. Recently I had to rush to the restroom during my set. If I was using a Bluetooth microphone, I could keep telling my shitty jokes in the restroom.

Why did the first three Starwars movies come out AFTER episodes 4-6?

In charge of directing, yoda was.

How do you call the smartest woman in the world?

IQueen

What did the mathematician with a background in education say?

"Seeing how much help the students need squared me, so I ended up abandoning my root."

did you knew that all serial killers have dandruff

Because you can always find head and shoulders in their car

What kind of car will you never forget?

A Porsche 9/11

I could tell plane jokes but,

They are so overused. Its a very boeing joke. *Yawns*

this is the funniest joke ever believe me man

now laugh

I just quit my job in the helium factory because of the way management spoke to me.

I will not be spoken to in that tone of voice.

Jokes about anal are hard to understand.

But you usually get it in the end.

A crippled youtuber got mad

because the comments on his video are all disabled.

The Keeper of All Jokes was starting to get overwhelmed.

There were so many supposedly new ones arriving every day that he couldn’t properly review them so he hired an assistant to dispose of the rejects. Thanks to a miscommunication, the assistant thought he was getting delivery instructions every time the Keeper said “read it”. So now you know.