Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...computers vs humans?
The best joke on mankind is that computers ask humans to prove they are not robots...
They’re calling the aftermath of Hurricane Ian a 500-year flood event
I ain’t sticking around for the next one.
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga …
And 100% of men don’t care.
One of my employees today complained that the sundae lids won’t fit.
I told her “Well duh, that’s because it’s Monday!”
They are so done with my bullshit today. Lol.
Pervert Bear and Genious rabbit
A bear hunts a rabbit in the forest. After several hours of running, they arrive in a clearing with a large rock in the center, and on top of this rock stands a golden frog. Surprised, they approach and the frog starts talking to them:
" For having found me, I grant you 3 wishes each."
The bear, impatient, begins: "I would like all the bears in this forest to be female."
The rabbit continues: "I would like a motorcycle helmet". Surprised, the bear laughs: "You could have what you want and you ask for a helmet, you really are a moron" But the rabbit does not answer.
With that, the frog asks them: "what is your second wish?"
The bear then says: "For my second wish in fact, I would like all the bears in the country to be females".
The rabbit continues "For my second wish, I would like a motorcycle". The bear continues to mock but the rabbit does not let himself be intimidated.
The frog then finishes: "What is your third wish?"
The bear thinks and ends up asking: "well, since I like sex, I would like all the bears on the planet to be female and let me be the only male".
"So be it" the frog answers him "And you rabbit, what is your last wish?"
And the rabbit answer "I would like this bear to be gay", then he puts on his helmet, gets on his motorbike and starts at full speed.
The longest serving leaders are most trusted by their people
No wonder Liz Truss lasted 6 weeks
A Marxist-Leninist, a Stalinist, and a Trotskyist walked into a voting booth
The election worker said “Sorry! You have to be at least 18 in order to vote.”
You know what they about getting high at a funeral
You can’t spell “funeral” without “real fun”!