Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...My credit was stolen once, 2 grand was spent in the space of a week!
I didn’t report it though as the thief was spending less than my wife was.
Q. How do you know a party is for a gamer?
A. There are tons of streamers.
My boss calls me, “The Computer” but it has nothing to do with my intelligence.
I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.
A man and his suicidal horse walk into a bar
The man says to the bartender, "Bartender! Get me the best wings you have and make it quick as I am quite hungry right now."
With his eyes lit up, the horse turns to his owner and asks, "How hungry?"
Why did the kid throw salami out the window?
He wanted to see the meatier shower.
A patient goes to his physician
He lists him some symptoms and after a workup the doctor says: I can’t find a reason for your problems, it must be the alcohol.
The patient responds: I’ll come back when you’re sober then.
Why do people in wheelchair not know how to go by a recipe when cooking food?
Because in recipes, you have to follow it step by step.
How did the Irish expatriate get lost in the jewelry megastore?
He was looking for the emerald aisle.