Things better not said - our best
... Jokes ...They say that "The grass is always greener on the other side".
Especially true of roll on turf.
I need help finding a Tim Burton movie
I Googled "Tim Burton movie where Johnny Depp plays a quirky, androgynous loner," and Google told me to be more specific.
Life pro tip: Want to take a selfie during sex?
Just squeeze both nipples at the same time.
Stolen from ask Reddit post about sex.
Due to inflation
The phrase "a dime a dozen" has gone up to "a dollar a dozen"
Having a girl best friend is like having a Chicken as a pet
Sooner or later, you are going to want to eat it...
Motherhood is like a fairytale...
... _*but in reverse*_
You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.
A white supremacist walks into Mar a Lago. A Secret Service agent says to him…
“Welcome home, Mr. President. Would you like a Diet Coke?”
Who is the female vocal equivalent of Morgan Freeman?
Morgan FreeWoman
(Courtesy- reddit)
Two cars collide due to one of the drivers masturbating behind the wheel.
It was a traffic jaccident.
John Drop is a developer and have a child with his wife Jelena, how did they name him?
Dragan
I went to a Chinese restaurant and there was a suggestion box,
so I wrote ‘Free Tibet.’