Things better not said - our best

Why did the pirate get cancelled?
He dropped the hard arrrrrr

After Trump’s NFT announcement…
He was called a charlatan. He denied it, saying he lives in Florida.

Sony has released a new camcorder
It was panned by the critics

Dragon Ball Z is real.
Messi collected 7 golden balls and successfully wished for a world cup.

A man is arrested for dog-fighting
In the interrogation room, the officer demands an explanation; “What do you have to say for yourself?!” The man answers “what can I say, it’s a dog eat dog world…”

Why are Russian birth rates so low?
They are afraid to Putin.

New Year
One day, the director of NASA made an emergency call to the President of USA and said, "Sir, I have good news and bad news." The President said, "Okay, tell me the bad news first." NASA Guy: "Well Sir, we have detected a massive comet heading straight for Earth. It will impact Earth tomorrow evening. There is no way to stop it. The entire planet will be destroyed in an enormous supernova. There will be fire, light, and explosions bigger than anything anyone has ever seen or imagined." President: "So, what is the good news???!" NASA Guy: "Well Sir, tomorrow just happens to be New Year`s Eve!"

Dumb
Joke for A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’ The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘He comes in here every day and always takes the quarters. That kid never learns!’ Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’ The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!’

As New Years Eve approaches, I encourage all of you to refrain from abusing alcohol.
And remember, neglect *is* a form of abuse.

How do they drive in South Wales?
Very Caerphilly.

What is a non-bonding cat called?
Cation.

my wife kept having a go at me for not putting toilet seat down
so I leave it down piss gets on the toilet seat and she still anit happy cant win

Why did the priest go to JC Penny?
They were promoting a sale. All the boys pants are half off