A landlord’s lesson…

A pub landlord is struggling with the cost of living crisis. Customers are down and costs are soaring. To get his business back on track, he decides the best way forward is to host an event to draw in new customers. Noticing the cobwebs in some of the dimly lit corners of the pub, he has a stroke of genius and realises that if he hosts a gothic themed evening, he can pass them off as part of the decor. The landlord is feeling rather pleased with himself until he realises that those alone are unlikely to impress any new customers. He decides what he really needs is some gothic drinks to serve. He’s in luck - the local brewery has several wooden kegs of aptly named ales - ‘Spider Web’, ‘Vampire Bite’, and ‘Broken Skull’ that will surely generate interest and keep the local beer drinkers happy. But the kegs don’t come cheap and even with all of his own savings, he can’t afford to buy them. Desperate, he explains his predicament to the brewer who makes him an offer. The brewer explains that he has an old unused coffin in the cellar that’s too heavy to shift by himself. The coffin is taking up valuable storage space and is costing him money so he tells the landlord that if he agrees to help him move it, he’ll sell him the three kegs of beers for all of the landlord’s savings and throw in the coffin for free! The landlord has a tough decision to make. Does he reject the strange offer, or risk his entire business including all of his own savings on the gothic beers and coffin and hope that his event is a success. “Screw it, I’m in!” he decides. A week of preparation goes by, and the day of the gothic event finally comes. The pub really looks the part: spider webs in every corner, dim flickering lights at the tables, and pride of place - nailed up on the wall behind the bar - stands the coffin. By a brilliant stroke of luck, the three kegs of beer fit perfectly inside it and the landlord marvels at his handiwork as the first customers queue up to try some of his intriguing gothic ale. But just as he goes to pour the first pint, disaster strikes! The weight of all the kegs is too much and the coffin comes crashing down, narrowly missing the landlord and his customers but breaking through the bar, sending splintered wood in all directions, smashing nearly all his bottles of expensive liquor, and breaking all the kegs of beer. All of his customers leave and the night is a complete failure. The landlord sits alone with his head in his hands, penniless and ruined. But despite his despair, he has learned one lesson. What is that lesson, you ask? Simple: Don’t put all your kegs in one casket!