A distraught woman answered the door…

DISCLAIMER: I heard this 30 years ago and was told this was a true story. Then I heard a comedian tell it 20 years ago. I have no idea what the actual origin is so haters kindly please step off. Lol ========== The nighttime festivities at a neighborhood pub were winding down when the bartender noticed a patron at one of the tables slumped over. He asked the server to check on the patron and the server said “He’s fine. He’s just had too many and will probably need a cab.” Last call comes and goes, and the bartender goes to the table and nudges the man. “Oy, fella. Time to go. Do you need a taxi?” The man raises his head, mumbles incoherently, and plops his head back down on the table. The bartender decides to finish his closing duties, then call the patron a taxi. What’s the harm in letting him sleep it off a bit, right? The bartender finishes and return to the passed out patron. “Oy, do you need a taxi?” Patron raises his head, slurs a bit, then plop again. The bartender decides to check the man’s wallet for an address so he can tell the taxi where to take the man. He discovers the man only lives a block and a half away, and decides to just take him home himself. Bartender: “Buddy. Get up. Time to go.” More slurring from the patron in response. The bartender lifts the man out of the chair to stand him up and the man falls to the floor. The bartender lifts him up again, leans him against the bar, and the man crumbles to the floor again. And again at the door. And again on the sidewalk. And again at the car. The bartender said “I’m getting really tired of dragging your drunk ass around.” More slurred speech from the patron in response. The bartender arrives at the address on the man’s ID. He drags the man out of his car, stands him up, and the man falls to the street. The bartender drags the man from the street to the porch, props him up next to the door and says “This had better be your house because this is as far as I’m taking you.” More slurred speech in response. The bartender rings the doorbell and a distraught woman answers the door. She looks down and sees her husband on the porch. “OH THANK GOODNESS. We’ve been worried sick! You found him!” The bartender says “Can I assume you know him?” The woman replies “That’s my husband. Where has he been?” “He’s been down at the pub and had too many. When I saw how close he lived, I thought I’d bring him home myself and save him the cabfare” said the bartender. “That’s very kind of you” said the woman. “Where’s his wheelchair?”