Dave was a cannibal, and a conceited one at that.

So when he was in a bad car accident, the people of his town weren’t very sympathetic. But when they learned that he died, they softened up a bit. “I didn’t know that his injuries were life threatening,” one of his neighbors said. Another replied that they weren’t. “Well then how did he die?” the first wanted to know. The second said, “When the doctors told him he was going to lose both of his legs, he asked if he could eat them. Since they were just going to be thrown out, they agreed. Apparently, after he’d eaten one of them and had almost finished the second, he choked and by the time the nurse got to his room it was too late.” The first neighbor said, “I guess that’s a fitting way to go. He always was full of himself.”