An old one from my dad, modernized

A man is at a bar, throwing back beers. Towards the end of the night, he throws up all over himself. “Oh great!” He says, “Now my wife’s gonna see and she’ll tear me a new one for staying out at the bar all night.” The bartender laughs and says, “Nah man. Here’s what you do: create a fake Venmo account, with a fake name and picture. Use it to send $20 to your real account. Then you tell your wife you were walking home passed the bar, and a drunk guy threw up all over you. So he Venmo’d you $20 to buy a new shirt. Then show her the payment as proof.” “That’s a great idea!” the man says. So he leaves the bar and does exactly that. He tells his wife a man threw up on him, and Venmo’d him $20 for a new shirt. When she asks to see, he proudly presents the fake Venmo payment as proof. His wife is satisfied with this. …. Until she takes a closer look, and sees a second identical payment, from the same account to her husband’s for another $20, made fifteen minutes after the first. She asks, “And why did the man send you an additional $20, fifteen minutes later?” The man says, “Because he shat in my pants too!”