A police officer was on patrol at night and saw two men fighting in the middle of the street…

He flashed his police lights, hopped out the car and pulled the two men apart. He cuffed them both and sat them apart from each other on the sidewalk. “Tell me what’s going on here?” The policeman asked the first man. “Well,” the first man sighed, “It all started a few nights ago when I thought my girlfriend was cheating on me. I came round to her place to surprise her and found her watching a movie with two suspiciously empty pizza boxes next to her. She said she was just hungry, but who the hell orders two large pizzas to themselves?” “An interesting point,” the policeman agreed, nodding. “Anyway,” the first man continued, “I decided to stake out her house. So I’m waiting here out in the street, watching to see if anyone goes into that pink house on the other side of the road. I have my mate at the pizza shop deliver me a pizza while I wait. Everything’s quiet and I’m just about to start eating my pizza. Until I see that dickhead over there come creeping around the side of the house.” “That man over there?” The policeman asked. “Yes! So naturally I confronted him and he denied seeing my girl. Next thing you know we’re in the middle of a brawl and then you arrive.” The policeman thought for a moment, then undid the cuffs. “Here’s the deal, you give me your pizza and I’ll let you drive away with a warning.” The first man nodded grumpily, hopped in his car and drove off. The policeman placed the pizza in his car and then walked over to the second man. “That guy says you were cheating on his girlfriend,” the policeman stated. “How dare he insult my honour like that!” The second man roared. “So what were you doing?” The policeman asked. “….trying to rob the place.” The second man mumbled, “but I couldn’t get in!” “That’s hardly any better,” the policeman replied. “The windows were locked up tight, so I decided to give up. Next thing I know some guy is screaming at me, saying I’m having a thing with his girl. We ended up in a fight. Then you turn up.” “Empty your pockets,” the policeman said. The second man pulled out a pair of diamond earrings from another house he had robbed. “I’ll take those,” the policeman said, “But because I’m in a good mood, I’ll let you go.” The second man couldn’t believe his luck. He skipped away down the street. Suddenly, the lights at the front of the pink house turned on. A woman came marching out, “What the hell is going on out here officer?!” The policeman turned around, “Nothing beautiful, I’ve got you a pizza and some new earrings.”