A guy loses his penis in an accident.

He asks the doctor if there’s any hope of reconstruction. The doctor says “Sure. There have been a lot of medical advancements lately, but it’s not cheap.” “How much does it cost?” asked the man. “About $1,000 an inch. You should probably discuss this with your wife and let me know what you decide.” A week later, the man is back at the doctor’s office. “Well?” the doctor asks. “Did you talk to your wife?” “Yes” the man says glumly. “What did she say?” the doctor asks. The man replies “She says she wants granite countertops.”