A man walks into the local cathedral and says to the rector, “I would like to join this fucking church.”

The rector is astonished. “I beg your pardon, sir . . . I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?” “Are you deaf? I said I want to join this fucking church!” “I’m sorry, sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this building.” “Okay, twat face, I want to speak to someone else.” The rector goes into the bishop’s study to inform him of the situation. The bishop listens and both return to confront the man, “Sir, what seems to be the problem here?” “There is no problem,” the man says. “I just won fve million fucking quid on the fucking lottery and I want to join this fucking church to get rid of some of this fucking money.” “I see,” says the Bishop, “and this cunt is giving you a hard time?”