I bought a race snail.

A man approached me selling raceing snails. He told me this blue one in particular is the fastest one hes ever had. I paid the man $500! (Good deal!) Once I entered it into the first race, it came in last place. I tried two more races and it came up loser again and again. I began to compare my snail to the snails that are besting it. I did notice mine had a much larger shell than all the champions. This gave me an idea. I decided to remove the shell, you know, to lighten to load... All it did was make him more slugish