New Diet

So I’m at Walmart picking up a bag of dog food for my dog. Waiting in the long line the lady behind me strikes up a conversation. She asks if I have a dog, and I think, why else would I be carrying this big bag of dog food? Then I said “No, I’m starting the dog food diet again. Even though I ended up in the hospital last time.” She looked horrified. I continued, “But I had lost 50lbs before I woke up in the hospital with IV’s and feeding tube and a broken arm and pelvis and a concussion.” “Oh Dear!” She said. I told her that it was the perfect diet, that you fill your pockets with the nuggets and when you feel hungry you just pop a couple and eat them. And since the dog food is nutritionally complete it works great, and I really want to try it again. Now everyone in line is listening to me and our discussion. She asked, “Well, was it the dog food that put you in the hospital?” “Oh, no,” I answered, “I stepped off the curb to sniff a poodle’s butt and a truck hit me…” I thought the guy behind her was gonna have a heart attack he was laughing so hard…