We’ve had a breakthrough!

A tortoise makes an appointment with his therapist “How’s everything going?”, she asks him. “Oh, you know, same old… can’t get laid to save my life. My mom’s crazy, she says I’m a shut-in, that I should get out more. But I know these fake turtle bitches are all full of plastic, they even like being choked with straws. Nobody wants a nice tortoise anymore, it’s gone out of vogue!” “I see”, said the therapist, “I think your mother isn’t being entirely rational. You’re not a shut-in. You are an inshell.”