Vladimir Putin’s poop

Recent news reports have stated that Vladimir Putin’s bodyguards have to collect his excrement every time he defecates when out of Russia. It was believed that this was to stop Western intelligence analysing Putin’s excrement to study his health. However the truth is that Putin, as a taunt to the Ukraine, posts a box containing his excrement to the Ukrainian President, Volodymyr Zelenskyy. Putin believes that is childish prank will break Ukraine’s will to fight on. However Zelenskyy has again got the better of Putin. Every time Zelenskyy defecates he takes a picture of his dump and sends the picture to Putin via electronic message over the internet to Putin’s inbox. This shows Zelenskyy’s contempt for Putin is greater as everyone knows the email of the faeces is deadlier than the mail!