Pussy Willows

Two old friends hadn’t seen each other in years, because they lived so far away from each other. So they decided to meet in the middle, and take a weekend getaway golf trip. They hit up a course tucked high up in the rockies, in a valley surrounded by white capped mountains. It was truly something to behold. As they teed off on hole 10, the one furthest from civilization, the first golfer started swearing and stormed off into a large patch of buttercups. His buddy sighed and took a seat in the cart, and whipped out his phone because he knew this was gonna be a while. The first guy was swinging his club left and right in a fit of fury. Buttercups were flying all around him. Before he could even find his ball, Mother Nature came down from the mountain tops. She said, “Look at all this damage you have caused to my beautiful buttercups! As a punishment for that, I will fix you so that you will never enjoy butter again!” And with a flash, she was gone. The first golfer went back to the cart. His buddy was oblivious to the ordeal. “I wanna use my mulligan,” the first one said. “What? Why? You never do that!” “You’re not gonna fuckin believe this! You know what never mind. Just go!” So the second golfer teed up and took his shot and started swearing. He then disappeared behind a dip in the fairway. “What happened?” The first guy called out. “Its fine, the second one called back. I just hit my ball down here in this patch of pussy willows.” The first guy golfer jumped out of the golf cart and sprinted down toward his buddy screaming, “Don’t swing! Don’t swing!”