A Punjabi latifa (joke), translated.

The government, via the local mosque, announces that every married couple will receive 100, 000 rupees for every child they have, as a sort of relief check. Johnny, a poor man with 7 kids, hears this joke. He tells his wife, "O wife, we have 7 kids, and we will receive 700,000 rupees from the government" "Indeed", she replies back. "How would you like it, if instead of 700,000 rupees, i get our family 900,000 instead" "That would be wonderful! But how will you do that? We only hage 7 children." "Well, actually, I need to tell you something", confesses the husband, "I have a mistress, whom I kept secret from you, and I have 2 children with her. If I go and get those 2, and add them to the 7 i have with you, it makes 9!" "Wonderful, then we will finally be able to buy that new car! " "Exactly", replies the husband. He goes and gets his 2 children from his mistress. Upon returning he gets ready to leave with all 9 of his children. He is counting heads when he suddenly realizes:"One, two.... six, seven-? Hey honey two of our kids are missing! Where did they go?" "Why are you surprised, honey? After all, you werent the only one that heard the announcement."